Sunday, 5 November 2017

ROBERT AT MURRAY ROBERTS


Not quite the name and logo but almost


Richard of RBB, the custodian of that old blog RICHARD'S BASS BAG, in a recent comment on THE DARKER CURMUDGEON asked if there would be an expose of Robert in his days as a Murray Robert's delivery truck driver.

For those of you who are up to pace with modern media and who are followers of latest trends and the more fashionable side of social media, RICHARD'S BASS BAG is one of those old format blogs where the writer witters on about things he does during the day - gets up, goes to the toilet, drinks instant coffee, plays with himself plays solo music on his double bass etc. You get the picture. It's kind of like one of those old Smith's bookstore and stationers, the ones that have now closed down or like a shabby community library where only derelicts hang out in to keep warm and pee in the corner.

Anyway, I've wracked my brains to think of things that Robert did as a delivery driver - the memory is a bit fuzzy, but here goes:

Careless driving one

Once Robert was driving the small Bedford truck in Newtown, near the Winter show buildings.
He had just done a delivery to the John Street council flats and had to collect a lot of empty bottles in soggy cartons. He wasn't pleased and drove faster than he should have. when he hit a bump in the road several of the cartons 'jumped out' from the back of the truck and the contents smashed on the ground, scaring pedestrians. Robert hurriedly stopped the truck in the middle of the road and picked up the bigger pieces of glass and cardboard, threw them onto the back of the truck and drove on.

Careless driving two



Once Robert was driving the large flat-deck Bedford down from the Hataitai tunnel to the Basin Reserve. As the lights were green and just turning yellow he accelerated and took the turn left, mounting the footpath and scattering pedestrians. Robert drove on back to base in Adelaide Road.





Drinking and driving

On Saturday afternoons the biggest delivery was to the James Cook hotel where usually a full truckload of beer and some spirits and soft drink was delivered. The beer was always DB Export in cartons of 24 bottles. After unloading and carrying the cartons up stairs to the store room Robert would accept a free beer and sit down enjoying it knowing that his co-workers would be flat out back at base. Robert didn't care.

Tagging

Once Robert wrote "STEVE IS A BRIKEHEAD" on one of the the walls in the warehouse. Robert thought that he did this anonymously but every one knew it was him by the misspelling.


Vandalism

Robert used to throw the glass marker pens at the walls and celing of the warehouse to make 'Jackson Pollock' - like splashes.




Pinching

Bruce said to take a bottle of wine home to try with tea and learn about wine. Bruce meant a decent New Zealand or Australian wine. Willy, 2IC re-interpreted and instructed that as cheap New Zealand wine like Baco 22A (about 99c. a bottle). Robert ignored both of those instructions and took home Chateaux Margaux.




Skiving

Robert used to stop off during deliveries and do his washing at a laundromat in Hataitai. He used to sit and study his university books for about an hour and a half while the clothes were washing and drying. The delivery truck was parked outside on the yellow lines.


That's just from the 'top of the head'.
No doubt Richard could add some. We could actually ask Robert but I feel that his memory might be dodgy.


2 comments:

  1. Jump on the band wagon and put Robert down why don't you.
    Actually I laugh because your memory is obviously failing with the onset of dementia.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have what is called 'selective memory' as practised by Donald Trump and most politicians.

    ReplyDelete